


Dying Alone

by ShadowsOffense



Category: Firefly, Serenity (2005)
Genre: Episode: s01e08 Out of Gas, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 13:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsOffense/pseuds/ShadowsOffense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was nothin’ better, in Mal’s mind, than dying alone, ‘cept not dying at all.</p>
<p>Drabble from "Out of Gas"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dying Alone

There was nothin’ better, in Mal’s mind, than dying alone. A man had a right to choose how he wanted to meet his maker, presuming the situation allowed any kind of choice to be made. Not much anybody could do about a bullet to the back of the head, ‘cept try an’ not be in its way. But if there were a choice to be had, it was each man’s right t’ make it for themselves. And here, one sole body with the cold creeping in as his ship bled out under him, was Mal’s choice.

He knew Inara thought he was being a self-sacrificing _hwoon dahn_ , playing the martyr. And he was, as she’d said, going down with his ship. But it was his choice, not hers. An’ yeah, he had made it in part because ‘no man left behind’ included Serenity, in his mind.

But mostly, it was selfish.

If he died alone, he could die hoping the others’d lived. And he knew Zoe would carry him home; see that Inara and little Kaylee got looked after, if they needed it. Mal staying with Serenity meant not just dying alone, but him bein’ alone in the dying. Left the others still breathing after he shuffled off, and even if there weren’t much hope for them makin’ it out, it was better than none at all. 

Better’n seeing them going cold and still.

‘Side’s, Mal figured he didn’t need an audience when he an’ God finally got around to meeting. Had too many impolite words t’ get off his chest before Mal told that _jing-tzahng mei yong-duh kuh-ooh duh lao bao jurn_ he could stuff his core-like heaven. Then, Mal figured, he’d take himself off to see if he could reign a little Hell down on them that deserved it.

Still, there was nothin’ better, in Mal’s mind, than dying alone, ‘cept not dying at all.


End file.
